HOMER SIMPSON STARBUCKS

My sixth Starbucks a tiny oasis right smack in the middle of Uglyville, CA. Okay, it's actually North Hills but they should consider either changing the name to Uglyville or have a paint day. Maybe it's the June gloom but Starbucks store number 11447 would feel right at home in a Steinbeck novel.

It's nice inside the store. Very friendly crew. Across the street is a Yum-Yum Donut shop and an Anheuser-Busch Brewery is a stone's throw away. Homer Simpson would love it here.

The guy in blue in the picture is acting out some fight in a store in which one of the guys had a gun. And on the way here I passed a guy carrying a beer bottle and a machete.

Good times.

STARBUCKS AND STARBUCK IN STARBUCKS

Ultra-geek-cool or sign of the Apocalypse?

Via Topless Robot

STARBUCKS TURNS 40

My office is turning 40, and to celebrate, Starbucks is giving away free food. March 10-12, from 2-5, you can get one of the new Petites with the purchase of a drink (nothing's really for free, is it?).

The new Petites are: Cake Pops (available in Birthday Cake, Rocky Road and Tiramisu flavors), Red Velvet Whoopie Pies, Mini Cupcakes (Carrot Cake and Peanut Butter) and Sweet Squares (Lemon and Salty Caramel).

I'll be making a Petite tour all three days.

HIGH ALTITUDE STARBUCKS

My fifth Starbucks sits about 6,750 ft above sea level in Big Bear, CA. We spent last weekend at Crestline, CA with some friends. My daughter needed a nap and I figured the hum of the car would lull her to sleep. Sure enough, it worked. So we drove to Big Bear and she napped the whole way.

The Starbucks is wedged between a pizza place and a liquor store. One stop shopping, really, for a weekend in the mountains. The place was pretty crowded with tourists (my daughter and I being two of them). Very slow service. But it was the weekend. It's probably better service during the week when it's not so crowded.

It's a great place to grab a drink and then walk 2 blocks to the lake or stroll through town.

Village and Paine

40568 Village Drive

Big Bear Lake, CA 92315 US

909-878-5094

EMPIRICAL STARBUCKS

Starbucks #4 is nestled in a shopping center in Burbank, CA. The Victory and Empire store. From the outside it sort of looks like a storage shed on 'roids. But inside - oh the inside is glorious. Plenty of room, the best air-conditioned Starbucks ever, and free of hipsters. This is where I was on July 19, 2005 at 10:17am when my wife called to tell me we had been matched with a baby in China.

I could spend all day at this Starbucks. The shopping center has Target, Lowe's, Michaels, Nordstrom Rack, Krispy Kreme, Sports Authority (to work off those Krispy Kremes) and oh so much more.

And just down the road is a Costco, a firing range and an animal shelter. Talk about the ingredients for some tasteless jokes.

1711 North Victory Place
Burbank, CA 91502
818-843-3979

How to Pay With Your iPhone at Starbucks

As you may know, you can now pay for your mega-Trenta Starbucks drink with your iPhone. How, you may ask? Here's a great site that explains it for those of us who are iPhone-challenged.

Shanghaid To Starbucks

Starbucks #3 is the fancy-ass one in the Xintiandi section of Shanghai. This is a fantastic store. Two floors. Beautiful interior. And in a really cool, if not touristy, part of the city.

Here's my ideal (and expensive) day at the Xintiandi:

1. Get a drink from the Xintiandi Starbucks


2. Look longingly at where the Paul bakery used to be. They had the best chocolate croissants outside of Paris.

3. Scoff at the Xintiandi Coffee Bean and Tea
4. Buy an overpriced shirt at Shanghai Tang
5. Eat lunch at Din Tai Fung
6. Look at the Cold Stone Creamery.
7. Turn to my wife and say, "They have a Cold Stone Creamery?"
8. Eat ice cream at the fanciest Haagen-Dazs you've ever laid eyes on.
9. Tell a total stranger Haagen-Dazs is in the Bronx and that I have a friend who developed Macadamia Nut Brittle.




10. Visit the Museum of the First National Congress of the Chinese Communist Party
11. Toast Mao with a Starbucks Green Tea Frappuccino

Oy

Hoping this works.

JV95W5APKJ4Z

WHO DOES STARBUCKS #2 WORK FOR?

My second Starbucks in my long march (Oh god, I hope Mao doesn't have a copyright on the "long march" phrase) to visit every Starbucks in the universe is the Starbucks at 257 S. La Cienega Blvd. Beverly Hills, CA. It's right across the street from my allergist, my dentist, my daughter's doctor and a few blocks from my doctor and optometrist. It's the perfect Starbucks for my hypochondriac ways.

It's not my favorite Starbucks. It's tiny, on a busy street and a bit on the boring side. And I gotta tell you, it always seems a bit dirty. I suppose it's perfect for Starbucks number two. I rate it: tall with a half shot.

ps. Architecture fans will like the William Pereita designed Flynt Building across the street.

Oh no you didn't, Starbucks!

Starbucks, how could I love you even more than I do? I love you with all my being. But now I have to go out and get another being because my love for you has just exploded.

Starbucks has just announced their Starbucks egift Program, where you can send a Starbucks ecard to a friend. It works just like a gift card. Shut the front door!

But there's more, my friends. You can also send egifts through Facebook, so you don't even need to know someone's email. Shut the front door! Open the door and shut the front door again!

STARBUCKS #1

A journey begins with a single step and in my case, a single Starbucks. In my quest to visit every Starbucks known to mankind, I begin in Guangzhou, China, at the Starbucks at 101-102 Peace World Plaza, Jian She Liu Ma Lu, opposite the Garden Hotel.

My wife and I were in China to adopt our daughter and this is the first Starbucks we went to as a family. Traditions have to start somewhere, right? It's a spanky 2-floor store with yummy pastries and is the gateway to the Bridge of Lepers, a pedestrian bridge filled with beggars right out of a horror film.

The 2-block area is great. There are some great little restaurants, a Pizza Hut (if you must), a clothing store where I got an Armani knockoff for $50 and a massage place that charges $10 for an hour massage.

This is one of my favorite Starbucks so I'll rate it: Trenta.

101-102 Peace World Plaza, Jian She Liu Ma Lu, GUANGZHOU

建设六马路好世界广场首层

Phone: +86 20 8375 2196

THE STARBUCKS GAUNTLET

There are roughly 16,858 (how's that for a round number) Starbucks worldwide. A man named Winter (Winter. Only Winter. He legally changed his name to Winter and is very insistent that his name is only Winter. Sort of like Cher. Or Prince) with far too much time on his hands, is endeavoring to visit all 16,858 Starbucks. So far he's visited just over a Trenta-sized 10,000!

Well I can smell a gauntlet when it's thrown (I said, mixing metaphors or something). So today I announce that I, too, shall attempt to visit every Starbucks known to mankind. (But with less anger)

But first, I shall attempt to visit every Brooklyn Bridge in the world.

Done.

Now on to Starbucks, suckas.

I'M A STARBUCKSAHOLIC

My name is Mark Brown and I am a Starbucksaholic. There. I've said it. I freely admit it. I've tried Peets, Dunkin' Donuts and Coffee Bean and Tea. I like the hot chocolate at Peets, the donuts at Dunkin' Donuts and nothing at Coffee Bean and Tea. But here's the part that doesn't make sense - I don't like coffee. Seriously. That's why I get the hot chocolate at Peets, the donuts at Dunkin' Donuts and nothing at Coffee Bean and Tea.

But there's something about Starbucks. I don't know if it's the overly sugary chai lattes, the overly fatty baked goods or some sort of corporate mind control. But I loves me my Starbucks. But not the coffee. No coffee for me. I'll take the overly sugary chai lattes, the overly fatty baked goods and hell, I'll even take the corporate mind control.

So since I don't have Objectum-Sexuality I decided to do the next best thing - start a blog.

Welcome to my Starbucks Venti Saga.